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Vicky Hartzler (r) [2016 file photo].

Alternative history:

Rep. Vicky Hartzler @RepHartzler
Our #CommitmentToAmerica is to protect the fundamental principles that keep our communities safe.

I condemn ALL who hijack a legitimate national conversation and use it as an excuse to loot, destroy, and kill. Their actions are reprehensible and have no place in our nation.
[….]
8:39 AM · Sep 16, 2020

In the 4th Congressional District?

Lindsey Simmons (D) [2020 file photo].

The reality:

Lindsey Simmons @LynzforCongress
Hard to keep communities safe when the President of the United States gasses his own citizens.
[….]
5:44 AM · Sep 17, 2020

“It was an accident, I swear.”

Bad combover. Check. Too long red tie. Check. Orange spray tan. Check. Tiny hands. Check. Cluelessness. Check…