Pastafarians are gonna want equal time. Brace yourself for a month of “Talk Like a Pirate Day” across Missouri.

Pirate Fish image courtesy of the CotFSM.

From 2010: HB 1425: Merry Chrismahanakwanzukah (January 11, 2010)

For this session it’s the same sponsor and the same bill:

FIRST REGULAR SESSION

HOUSE BILL NO. 424

96TH GENERAL ASSEMBLY

INTRODUCED BY REPRESENTATIVES FUNDERBURK (Sponsor), KOENIG, LASATER, WIELAND, BURLISON, LANT, SCHIEFFER AND WALTON GRAY (Co-sponsors).

1062L.01I                                                                                                                                                  D. ADAM CRUMBLISS, Chief Clerk

AN ACT

To amend chapter 9, RSMo, by adding thereto one new section relating to an official designation of the Christmas season.

Be it enacted by the General Assembly of the state of Missouri, as follows:

           Section A. Chapter 9, RSMo, is amended by adding thereto one new section, to be known as section 9.025, to read as follows:

           9.025. The day after Thanksgiving Day until midnight December twenty-sixth of each year shall be known and is designated as the “Christmas Season” in Missouri.

Already in this session:

HB 198: Merry Chrismahanakwanzukah redux (January 19, 2011)

As our good friends at Fired Up! ask:

…Just which religious holiday shall the State of Missouri favor in November and December, and what shall the government call those days of mystery?

Good question.

It’s not like job creation and unemployment in Missouri need any attention, right?

Oh, brother:

FIRST REGULAR SESSION

HOUSE BILL NO. 198

96TH GENERAL ASSEMBLY

INTRODUCED BY REPRESENTATIVES DENISON (Sponsor), HOUGH, DUGGER, COX, KELLY (24), WALLINGFORD, KORMAN, BRANDOM, GATSCHENBERGER, POLLOCK, RUZICKA, FRANZ, SCHNEIDER, STREAM, LEARA, NOLTE, DIEHL, SHUMAKE, ROWLAND, FUNDERBURK, HINSON, NANCE, RIDDLE, SCHAD, CIERPIOT, MOLENDORP, JONES (63), AULL, McNEIL, BROWN (50), SWINGER, WEBB, CONWAY (27), HODGES, QUINN, BLACK, KRATKY, McDONALD, MEADOWS, FALLERT, CASEY, SCHIEFFER, WELLS, FISHER, SATER, ALLEN, CAUTHORN, LICHTENEGGER, SILVEY, BROWN (116), THOMSON, LAUER, CRAWFORD, ELMER, WHITE, DAVIS, BRATTIN, WIELAND, SCHATZ, HOUGHTON, PHILLIPS, GRISAMORE, SCHOELLER AND DAY (Co-sponsors).

0876L.01I                                                                                                                                                  D. ADAM CRUMBLISS, Chief Clerk

AN ACT

To amend chapter 9, RSMo, by adding thereto one new section relating to designation of Christmas Day in Missouri.

Be it enacted by the General Assembly of the state of Missouri, as follows:

           Section A. Chapter 9, RSMo, is amended by adding thereto one new section, to be known as section 9.012, to read as follows:

           9.012. December twenty-fifth of each year shall be known and designated as “Christmas Day” in Missouri, and shall be set apart as a day in honor of the Christian feast commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ.

[emphasis added]

Establishment clause, anyone?

Sponsored by the usual suspects who haven’t bothered to read the Missouri Constitution:

Missouri Constitution

Article I

BILL OF RIGHTS

Section 7

Public aid for religious purposes–preferences and discriminations on religious grounds.

Section 7. That no money shall ever be taken from the public treasury, directly or indirectly, in aid of any church, sect or denomination of religion, or in aid of any priest, preacher, minister or teacher thereof, as such; and that no preference shall be given to nor any discrimination made against any church, sect or creed of religion, or any form of religious faith or worship.

If they pass this they’re gonna have to designate September 19th as “Talk Like a Pirate Day” for Pastafarians.

Article IX

EDUCATION

Section 8

Prohibition of public aid for religious purposes and institutions.

Section 8. Neither the general assembly, nor any county, city, town, township, school district or other municipal corporation, shall ever make an appropriation or pay from any public fund whatever, anything in aid of any religious creed, church or sectarian purpose, or to help to support or sustain any private or public school, academy, seminary, college, university, or other institution of learning controlled by any religious creed, church or sectarian denomination whatever; nor shall any grant or donation of personal property or real estate ever be made by the state, or any county, city, town, or other municipal corporation, for any religious creed, church, or sectarian purpose whatever.

Oh, they must have thought it was The Santa Clause.

Previously:

HB 1425: Merry Chrismahanakwanzukah (January 11, 2010)

HJR 62: brace yourself for “Talk Like a Pirate Day” (May 5, 2010)