Gathered from the internets:

I am the very model of a Russian Major-General,
I’ve been shot by snipers, Javelins, and rockets fired aerial,
I lose the tanks of Moscow, as farmers laugh hysterical,
From Donetsk to Odessa, we are fighting terrible.

I am the very model of a dead Major-General,
I’ve war-crimed, bombed, and pillaged like a goddamn savage animal,
My body blown to bits, you’d be surprised how very flammable,
History will judge me and condemn me categorical.

I tried to throw a punch with VDV and choppers aerial,
Objectives – making vassal state, a Russian periferia,
Turned to shelling cities – tactics simply catastrophical,
I am the very model of a Russian Major-General.

I am the very model of a Russian Major-General,
In tanks and men and ammo we are overwhelming numerical,
Still defeated by a woman throwing jars of pickled tomatoes,
All across Ukraine our logistics are so terrible.

I am the very model of a Russian major-general,
To murder of civilians and their kids I am amenable,
But Ukrainian resistance is so strong this is untenable,
Now only Comrade Putin thinks this cluster fuck is winnable.

The Hague will have a verdict, they’ll say I am a criminal.
A rope around my neck until I’m cold just like a popsicle,
If only our procurement bought us more tanks, trucks, and vehicles,
I am the very model of a Russian Major General.

Previously:

поле́зный идио́т (March 5, 2022)

Do they accept abandoned Russian armor as a trade-in? (March 8, 2022)

Putin the Pariah (March 10, 2022)

Russian asset (March 11, 2022)