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We’ve listened to and read the remarks of some who contend that Ben Wesly’s actions toward UCM have been extreme, unwarranted and, most importantly, misplaced.

These folks claim that Wesly’s beef is (or least should be) with Greg Hassler, and not with the University.

Indeed, the crux of their argument is this: The remarks that proved upsetting to Mr. Wesly were uttered by someone who isn’t even employed by the University. (Or, as one alleged NewspaperMan described it in what could be the most ill-conceived and least objective headline of all time, Hassler’s relationship to UCM amounts to that of “non-employee.”)

With a shrug and a dismissive wave, adherents to this illogic say in so many words, “Hey, Greg Hassler isn’t the University of Central Missouri. He neither speaks for us nor does he in any way reflect our beliefs and (and this is the REALLY important part coming up next…) this fact is so clear as to be patently obvious.”

If this thinking is correct and there is no way any reasonable person could mistakenly imagine that Greg Hassler has been or currently is an active (and vocal, no less) participant in the UCM community, then a simple conclusion follows:

The University owes no apology to Mr. Wesly.

Mr. Wesly should reinstate his investments in the institution.

Mr. Wesly should take up his case personally and solely with Mr. Hassler.

Mr. Wesly should man-up and be a lot less sensitive.*

*Although outside the scope of this discussion, it’s worth noting that a substantial number of those who subscribe to this theory frequently buttress their case with the following non sequitur: There’s no sense in arguing the relative offensiveness of Hassler’s remarks because those criteria are purely subjective and consensus impossible.

This is, for the record, untrue and untrue, but that’s another discussion…

However, in the great cause of Science, we are prepared to test the theory that no reasonable person would or could mistake Greg Hassler (aka, RadioMan) for someone who is meaningfully associated with the University of Central Missouri.

Enough yacking… On with the game!

Here’s how it works:

1. You will be shown a photo that appears or has appeared in an official UCM publication;

2. In each photo, several individuals will be respectively identified by a letter (A, B, C, etc.);

3. Your job is to correctly identify the Non-Employee(s) of UCM.

4. Good luck!

Number 1 is easy, just to get you started. Here we go…

Not too hard, right? I hope you didn’t just automatically choose the man wearing the necktie. In this case, he actually is an employee. Try not to let clothing fool you!



Answers to Number 1:

A. Shawn Jones, Associate A.D. External Operations

B. Greg Hassler, Non-Employee

C. Bob Jackson, Promotions Coordinator/Web Manager


Ready for Number 2? Begin…

I know; this one’s a bit tougher, right? Everyone is dressed the same, save poor “Mr. A” who seems to have missed the khaki Dockers memo. The boys are even sporting what appears to be the official shirt of the actual Mules coaching staff.

“Mr. B” is demonstrating textbook ball-handling technique, but that doesn’t indicate much.

“Mr. C” is holding an official headgear so daintily that one wonders if it’s perhaps the first time he’s touched such a thing, or whether he might have just discovered that someone had recently perpetrated the timeless “football-helmet-as-toilet” gag. Telling? Let’s see…



Answers to Number 2:

A. Bob Jackson, Promotions Coordinator/Web Manager

B. Shawn Jones, Associate A.D. External Operations

C. Greg Hassler, Non-Employee

D. Joe Moore, Faculty Member, UCM Department of Communication



Okay, you’re catching on, so we’ll make it a bit tougher. Number 3…

Boy, there sure is a lot here to take in!

For one thing, they’ve posed in front of that pesky Tower thing. Maybe that’s what a press box looks like in Denmark, but not in America. Plus, they did the old switcheroo with the helmets (“Fool me once…,” says Mr. C), and someone clearly dropped the ball in forgetting to bring the ball. Also, the empty-handed have adopted a more masculine “at-ease” position. That, or the photographer has been granted a free kick.

And damn it all to hell… Mr. B got the pants right this time, but forgot to bring his official shirt.

Good for you if you noticed that there is an additional person in this photo. But most importantly, were you able to name who among them is a UCM outsider?



Answers to Number 3:

A. Joe Moore, Faculty Member, UCM Department of Communication

B. Bob Jackson, Promotions Coordinator/Web Manager

C. Greg Hassler, Non-Employee

D. Shawn Jones, Associate A.D. External Operations

E. James Sales, Non-Employee*

*Award yourself an extra point if you knew that James Sales is simultaneously a non-employee of UCM and an employee of Greg Hassler.


This final one is a real puzzler. Number 4…

How was that? A bit tougher, I expect, And there were some obfuscating bits, like the page heading, “Mules Support Staff,” which sort of implies that the people whose pictures appear under the heading are members of the staff. By now you’ve started to catch on and guessed correctly that some are and others aren’t.

Hopefully you’ve remembered not to base your choices on any official-looking articles of clothing. If not, you struggled with this one, for sure.

You might have noticed that Greg Hassler isn’t on this page. Good eye, and no, it wasn’t an oversight on our part. Because if you look closely, somewhere in this picture, you will find RadioMan’s accomplice, or RadioRobin.



Answers to Number 4:

A. John Hicklin, Academic Coordinator for Student Athletes

B. John Culp, Program Development and Retention Coodinator

C. Marion “Woody” Woods, Non-Employee*

*Give yourself an extra point if you knew that “Woody” is both a non-employee of UCM and an employee of Greg Hassler.

**You get double bonus if you knew that “Woody” works as Hassler’s On-Air Toadie.


Results

Please calculate your score (one point per correct identification, plus whatever bonus points you earned) and enter it into our database by commenting on this post. We will tabulate the results next Monday and begin statistical analysis in the Spring.

Thank you for participating!