About two months ago on my other web site, I reviewed Reed R. Heustis, Jr., Esq.’s “One Nation Under Fill-In-The Blank,” which was a goofy and futile but nonetheless still a little scary look into the American Heritage Party (they are kind of like the Christian Nazi Party).

One of the things that stuck out in my mind was a strange little quirk of his writing that made me snicker.  It was his inclusion of A.D. in his copyright information, which I thought extreme because I thought the issue of whether we were writing before or after Jesus had been settled by now.

This week my class is discussing conspiracy theories, and as I read Heustis’s article, I see a number of hallmarks that characterize social paranoia.  For instance he claims that:

Powerful anti-Christian forces have so entrenched themselves in every aspect of American culture, that it is nearly impossible for Christian families to engage in anything worthwhile without being barraged by relentless and malicious efforts to coronate King Diversity in place of the King of kings.”

He sees in the adoption of C.E. (Common Era–still measured after the birth of the niftiest Red Sea Pedestrian of them all) as a more inclusive demarcation of time (not everyone believes  that Jesus was “Dominus” or “Lord”) a conspiracy to…what exactly?  Oh, put diversity ahead of Jesus.  But it’s not a secondary thing for Reed, you know, an incidental byproduct of a changing culture.  There is a deliberate and concerted effort to change the culture by “them.”  I don’t know, liberal fags or someone.  But “them”…and they are everywhere: in

Public schools, museums, and other institutions….

At a recent exhibit on the Dead Sea Scrolls, the dates (Common Era) used to indicate the age of the amazingly outdated slips o’ bullshit sent Reed in paroxysms of apoplexy.  Reed, who is of course an avid reader of this web site (“Over the years I have been labeled a countless amount of horrible epithets and slurs, but I can honestly say that I have never – not even once – been called a “Squid-licking monkey-boy.” LOL! Ad hominems aside, I am compelled to tip my Dodger Blue baseball cap to Happy Jihad at least for originality. Other than that, the site is nothing more than a vitriolic anti-Christian, and therefore anti-American, cesspool of hate.”–Reed R. Heustis, Jr, squid-licking monkey-boy), bitches about the goal of pursuing diversity.  And I’ll bitch about that as a national goal as well.  I would say that diversity is not our goal–that is, to have as many different points of view represented as possible in this country (that would make Reed’s asshat assertions just as valid as those of us who do not wear tin-foil headgear)–it is merely a byproduct of living in an already and irrevocably pluralistic modern society, a reality Reed is not equipped to accept.

Reed wonders:

What is preventing advocates of “the Common Era” to begin their own year?

This is an example of a fallacy that I am hereby dubbing the “straw dumbass” because it is so silly a question, such a useless, improbable and impractical proposition that it merits its own place in the Pantheon of Bullshit.  He suggests starting over at 2000  (as 1 C.E.) might be a reasonable position for the Druid Illuminati Masons who really control the calendar to argue for.  Without irony, of course, he does not recognize that this is itself based on the Gregorian Calendar, the AD calendar.  Goofball.

This little drawer full o’ calendar silliness is meshed within a larger conspiracy, the Devil’s plan to…do whatever it is the devil wants to do on earth.  The American Heritage Party is simply insane over the idea that there is a New World Order coming, probably through the UN.  They base this on their own hideously misguided perception of reality.  Indeed, their party platform seizes on what is traditionally whispered into the ears of schizophrenics by pyromaniac leprechauns:

New World Order/One World Government: Nationhood is a  blessing and the basic building block of a stable world order. We oppose the  transfer of governing authority to international agencies, alliances and treaty  organizations as a dangerous step toward global tyranny. We call for an end to  U.S . funding of the United Nations.

Well, they doesn’t recognize that those organizations are predicated on nationhood existing.  But whatever.

When you feel that 1) you are persecuted (by calendars or by society at large through calendars) and 2) god is on your side, you can justify almost anything.  This is why the American Heritage Party should not be encouraged into seeking power, but perhaps the name of a good therapist.