The Monday Post-Dispatch pretended to ask a number of Missouri power players to answer Virginia’s question about whether Santa Claus is real, then the P-D writer put more truth into their mouths about their beliefs than they would ever dare speak. My favorite:
Of course there is a Santa Claus. But thanks to environmental policies I’ve supported, the North Pole is melting, and he’s got to learn to swim. Since I believe that waterboarding is really like training for a swim competition, I say we tie him up and find out what he knows.
Christopher “Kit” Bond
This last one isn’t Christmassy, but Gone Mild curls its lip eloquently at CAFOs and at Chris Koster for having sold himself out to Big Ag:
I’m no PETA member, but even I don’t like the idea of eating something that has spent its entire life jammed in a stinky stall like the most crowded and flatulent elevator you have ever imagined.
Setting aside any porcine pity or tenderness for tenderloins, though, CAFOs are huge canker sores on the environment. They pollute ground water with unimaginable quantities of pig feces and urine. Their smell can make your eyes water, or worse – airborne micro-particles of pig feces can pollute entire zones of beautiful Missouri countrysides.