I don’t think The Onion was able to hack the White House web site. Maybe.

At the White House “We the People” petition site, the usual suspects are upset about the outcome of the election:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

The State of South Carolina to Secede from the Union and form it’s own Government as a Sovereign State

A petition for the State of South Carolina to Absolve its Allegiance to the Union and Declare its Independence as sovereign nation state.

“When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”

“…Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any Form of Government

Created: Nov 10, 2012

The funny part? There are a number of signatures from people from other states:

Rachel D

Montgomery, AL

November 11, 2012

Signature # 566

Ryan P

San Antonio, TX

November 11, 2012

Signature # 565

Derrick S

Zachary, LA

November 11, 2012

Signature # 564

George P

Kissimmee, FL

November 11, 2012

Signature # 563

Scott B

Salisbury, NC

November 11, 2012

Signature # 562

Rhonda E

Jacksonville, FL

November 11, 2012

Signature # 559

[emphasis added]

And on and on.

Are they trying to tell South Carolina something? Just asking.

There are petitions for other states, too:

Peacefully grant the State of Michigan to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of New York to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of Colorado to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Allow Oregon to vote on and leave the Union peacefully and remain an ally to the Nation.

Peacefully grant the State of New Jersey to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of North Dakota to withdraw from the USA and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of Montana to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of Indiana to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of Mississippi to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW governmen [sic]

Peacefully grant the State of georgia [sic] to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of Kentucky to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of Florida to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of North Carolina to withdraw from the United States and create its own NEW government

Peacefully grant the State of Alabama to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Peacefully grant the State of Texas to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

Picture New Jersey and New York without FEMA.

North Dakota just elected a new United States Senator. And they want to give that up?

Ditto, Indiana.

georgia is special:

Peacefully grant the State of georgia to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.

just like in 1860 the south secede from the union. 2012 the state of georgia would like to withdraw from the USA

Created: Nov 10, 2012

And it already has 1409 signatures.

Someone in Mississippi needs to work on their cut and paste skills.

Isn’t Kentucky a commonwealth? Just asking.

As if anyone wouldn’t understand what “new” means if it isn’t all caps.

Maybe if the rest of us quietly tip toe away and take our federal dollars with us they won’t notice. Nah.

Is this a great country, or what?

So much money, so little time. An attack ad, by a right wingnut PAC, directed at Lieutenant Governor Peter Kinder (r):

Narrator: Where’s Peter Kinder been? As Lieutenant Governor, we pay Kinder to break tie votes in the state senate. But Peter Kinder’s never been present for a tie vote. The last time a vote was tied Kinder was spotted at a bar, the Horny Toad Bar at the lake. And Kinder’s aggressive behavior with a stripper forced her to end contact. Skipping work to hang out at the Horny Toad. Questionable behavior. It’s last call for Peter Kinder. Time to cut him off.

[Missourians for Conservative values PAC is responsible for the content of this advertising. paid for by Missourians for Conservative values PAC. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate committee….]

Pass the popcorn.

And we still don’t know exactly who’s paying for this. But it is a lot.

Previously:

Campaign Finance: It lives again! (July 14, 2012)

Campaign Finance: It lives again! – part 2 (July 19, 2012)

Okay, this is really funny in a schadenfreude kind of way (August 18, 2011)

Another Missouri republican breaks through the national mockery threshold:

@pwire Taegan Goddard

Headline of the Day: “Kinder says his only relationship with stripper was to watch her dance.” pwire.at/nawYdJ 5 hours ago via bitly

Well, well.

@MBersin Michael Bersin

@pwire Mo. Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder (r): a patron of the arts. 4 hours ago

Cue republicans complaining about Democrats being mean:

Kinder says his only relationship with stripper was to watch her dance

By Jo Mannies, Beacon political reporter  

Updated 12:39 pm Thu., 8.18.11

….Kinder and Barklage echoed previous assertions by the lieutenant governor’s campaign, and the state Republican Party, that state Democrats were behind the story and have helped keep it going.

Those assertions have been denied by the state Democratic Party and campaign operatives for Gov. Jay Nixon.

However, state Democrats have issued releases or made press calls almost daily raising questions about Kinder’s alleged behavior, as asserted by Chapman, and his strip club visits….

Oh, woe.

“When your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil.” James Carville

Heh. Who would have thought?:

….It is with a great deal of heartfelt disappointment from those of us on Freedom Jamboree’s “grassroots” organizing committee and the Tea Party Founding Father’s 501(c)3 that we are now compelled to announce the cancellation of Freedom Jamboree in Kansas City this fall….

….Many have said they just did not have the money to travel this year….

….Our committee has speculated for the last month why registrations from the Tea Parties have been so low, with some emails and phone calls suggesting that the poor economy, national debt, high fuel prices, unemployment, double-dip recession, fear about the future (all the usual suspects), as well as political frustration with elected officials in both parties, and political burnout as principle reasons.  Others have said that many groups just don’t want to do anything outside of their own states this year, and are in disagreement with other groups about what and who the Tea Party movement should support and represent.  There is some disarray in the movement right now as to its next move.  The fact is, the spirit intrinsic in 2009 has diminished nationwide, and some lethargy and weariness persists….

….If anyone in the our movement has a plan or direction that can unite the movement again, and reverse the nation’s headlong march toward the economic abyss, please take the reins!  It appears the Tea Party horse is riderless, and riding off in all directions at once!….

“….Many have said they just did not have the money to travel this year….”

You could ask the Koch brothers to ante up. But, then again, you’ve already served their purposes and they don’t need you anymore.

“…poor economy, national debt, high fuel prices, unemployment, double-dip recession, fear about the future…as principle reasons…”

National debt? This didn’t appear to be a worry for these folks from 2001 to 2009 while dubya was racking up big deficits. Worries about the national debt caused people to not sign up for an astroturf convention? That’s a convenient and implausible excuse. Unless you happen to be an obsessive worrier and watch the Faux News Channel all of the time. Okay, point well taken.

“…It appears the Tea Party horse is riderless, and riding off in all directions at once!…”

All the grifters are doing quite well, though.