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Tag Archives: Petitions

Seriously?

15 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

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Tags

clown, missouri, Obama, Petitions, rodeo, State Fair, White House

At the White House petition site:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

support Tuffy Gessling

The events recently at the Missouri rodeo and the clown wearing a mask depicting your image, has created quite a stir. As you have stated, we need to have a discussion on this topic of racism and racial discrimination. However, I feel this is not what you had in mind. As this action by this rodeo clown does not distinguish you from past presidents, I do not relate this in any way to be racially charged. You are simply the sitting president at this time therefore it is your turn; it comes with the job.

Clowns put their bodies and lives between the bull and the cowboy regardless of the color of the bull or the cowboy.

I petition you to defend the ability of clowns to protect the cowboys and entertain the crowd and to give your personal support to this particular clown, Tuffy Gessling.

Created: Aug 14, 2013

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties

Signatures needed by September 13, 2013 to reach goal of 100,000 99,544

Total signatures on this petition 456

You think they’re holding out for a beer summit?

Previously:

At the Missouri State Fair last night (August 11, 2013)

Of state fair rodeo announcers and clowns: res ipsa loquitur (August 12, 2013)

You know you’ve struck a nerve… (August 12, 2013)

We don’t get a lot of mail (August 13, 2013)

White House Petitions: Well, the did lose, didn’t they?

10 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

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civil war, cult of the lost cause, Petitions, White House

At the White House petition site:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

Rename the 10+ Military Bases Named After Confederate Generals

Today we have over 10 US military bases named for generals of the Confederate States of America.

For example, Fort Polk is named after a plantation master of several hundred slaves. Fort Pickett’s namesake was accused of war crimes in executing 22 Union prisoners.

Forts Benning, Bragg, Polk, A.P. Hill, Rucker, Beauregard, Lee, Hood all carry similar tales.

When these bases were built, during the World Wars, it may have made sense to name them after local heroes. Now, with over 20% of our forces African-American why do we insult them by asking them to serve at a base named after defenders of slavery WHO KILLED AMERICAN TROOPS?

Would we have a Goering Air Base or Camp Cornwallis?

There are so many honorable people who upheld our American ideals, can’t we find 10 to honor?

Created: Jul 06, 2013

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties, Defense, Veterans and Military Families

Signatures needed by August 05, 2013 to reach goal of 100,000 99,742

Total signatures on this petition 258

[emphasis added]

Sometimes I wonder if they actually did.

White House Petitions: Is nothing sacred?

08 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

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Tags

national anthem, national motto, Petitions, White House

At the White House petition site:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

Change the national motto from “In God We Trust” to “E pluribus unum.” (protip: We are not a theocracy.)

The national motto “In God We Trust” is horrifying and it perpetuates the idea that religion is in any way associated with our government. George Washington would be ashamed.

Upon its establishment, the government embodied the Enlightenment idea of separation of church and state. Somehow, Senate managed to ignore this and basic political rights during the Cold War era: In 1956, they passed legislation that codified “In God We Trust” as the official national motto as part of their containment policy during the Cold War – i.e., the containment of the spread of communism.

WE ARE NOT A THEOCRACY, the Cold War ended, and this should never have become our national motto.

I petition the government to change our national motto to “E pluribus unum,” for in god we should not have to trust.

Created: Jul 05, 2013

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties, Education, Government Reform

Signatures needed by August 04, 2013 to reach goal of 100,000 86,917

Total signatures on this petition 13,083

[emphasis added]

And:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

Make “Party in the USA” our National Anthem

Obama please make Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA” our national anthem. It is what is best for this country.

Created: Jul 02, 2013

Issues: Arts and Humanities, Firearms, Human Rights

Signatures needed by August 01, 2013 to reach goal of 100,000 99,737

Total signatures on this petition 263

[emphasis added]

There must not be very many fans of the party tune.

Oh, wait…

White House Petition: it’s a freakin’ television show

22 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

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Tags

Petitions, reality television, White House

At the White House Petition site:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

Have Amy Bouzaglo Committed.

The owner of the Amy Baking Company in Scottsdale, AZ is obviously crazy. I think she should have a psychological evaluation and kept from interacting with the public.

Created: May 14, 2013

Issues: Human Rights, Job Creation, Small Business

Panem et circenses. Literally.

White House Petitions: whimsy and other things

11 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

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Tags

Petitions, White House

Whimsy:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

Give Nicolas Cage the Declaration of Independence.

Nicolas Cage deserves the Declaration of Independence. He is a National Treasure. Having stolen the Declaration once, he is clearly capable of doing so again, but chooses not to out of the kindness of his heart. He should be rewarded for his work as an actor and a historian by being given the Declaration of Independence.

Created: Mar 26, 2013

Issues: Arts and Humanities

Signatures needed by April 25, 2013 to reach goal of 100,000 97,686

Total signatures on this petition 2,314

Uh, it was a movie.

The other things:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

(April #1 of 6) STOP WHITE GENOCIDE! Halt MASSIVE third world immigration and FORCED assimilation in White countries!

Africa for Africans, Asia for Asians, White countries for EVERYBODY?

ALL White countries and ONLY White countries are being flooded with third world non-whites, and Whites are forced by law to integrate with them so as to “assimilate,” i.e. intermarry and be blended out of existence.

That’s genocide by U.N. definition:

“Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part.”

We petition the President to end White Genocide in the United States, and to call for the end of White Genocide in Europe, Britain, Australia, New Zealand and Canada.

Supporting White Genocide is not anti-racist. It’s anti-white!

Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white!

—

For a Future with White Children

Berkeley STOP WHITE GENOCIDE petitions

Created: Apr 03, 2013

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties, Human Rights, Immigration

Signatures needed by May 03, 2013 to reach goal of 100,000 99,756

Total signatures on this petition 244

There are five more petitions along that line.

244 people bothered to sign this? Unintentional irony:

T. M.

Powhatan, VA

April 10, 2013

Signature # 242

A bit of history for the irony challenged:

Powhatan, whose given name was Wahunsonacock, was the paramount chief of Tsenacomoco, a political alliance of Virginia Indians whose core six groups all settled along the James, Mattaponi, and Pamunkey rivers…..

 

Rights: what happens when you grade on a curve

10 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Petitions, White House

At the White House petition site:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

To be held Accountable and Impeached.

We the people demand That our rights to the following Constitutional Rights be restored and that Obama not only be impeached for infringing these rights but also be tried for teason for aiding and arming terrorists and the enemies of the American people. The following are a list of rights not only infringed but out right denied by Obama and his administration. We Demand our rights and Liberties be restored now! We also demand your relief of duty President Obama for your violations. The Following rights have been denied to us.

Amendment I

Amendment II

Amendment IV

Amendment V

Amendment VI

Amendment IX

AMENDMENT XIII

AMENDMENT XIV

AMENDMENT XV

Created: Feb 05, 2013

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties, Criminal Justice and Law Enforcement, Government Reform

Signatures needed by March 07, 2013 to reach goal of 100,000 99,229

Total signatures on this petition 771

[emphasis added]

Right, right, out right.

Apparently neither proofreading nor an understanding of capitalization was an acquired skill.

Lite bulbz, yeah!

24 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

light bulbs, Petitions, White House

At the White House petition site:

We petition the Obama Administration to:

Give us back our incandescent lightbulbs! We, the undersigned, want the freedom to choose our own lightbulbs.

In the spirit of liberty and freedom we believe that decisions, such as what kind of lightbulb we use, should not be made by the government but by the individual. The federal government is phasing out incandescent lightbulbs by law and the last incandescent lightbulb factory in America has closed. This is not the role of the government. Not only did this move shift jobs to China (since CFLs are too dangerous to manufacture in America) it has limited the freedom of Americans to make their own choices in how they will light their homes and businesses. The free market should decide which lightbulbs succeed, not the government.

Created: Nov 15, 2012

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties, Climate Change, Energy

Signatures needed by December 15, 2012 to reach goal of 25,000 24,454

Total signatures on this petition 546

Seriously. This must be the new prime in right wingnut dogma.

Previously:

HB 2468: Rep. Cynthia Davis (r) – another not so bright idea from a dim bulb (April 2, 2010)

Rep. Vicky Hartzler (r): what’s the number of working bulbs in that chandelier? (July 11, 2011)

Rep. Vicky Hartzler (r): we’re running out of light bulb puns (July 12, 2011)

Rep. Vicky Hartzler (r): fiddling with bulbs while the economy is about to burn (July 23, 2011)

HB 1146: still not too bright (January 7, 2012)

White House – petitions: it was only a matter of time given the circumstances

05 Saturday Nov 2011

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

futility, Petitions, sarcasm, We the people, White House

Previously:

White House: petitions – We the People (September 22, 2011)

White House – petitions: removing “Under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance (September 24, 2011)

White House – petitions: almost something for everyone (September 28, 2011)

White House – petitions: definitely worth signing (September 29, 2011)

Today, at the White House site:

We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless, politically safe response to this petition.

Since these petitions are ignored apart from an occasional patronizing and inane political statement amounting to nothing more than a condescending pat on the head, we the signers would enjoy having the illusion of success. Since no other outcome to this process seems possible, we demand that the White House immediately assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.

Created: Nov 04, 2011

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties, Government Reform

Signatures needed by December 04, 2011 to reach goal of 25,000 22,679

Total signatures on this petition 2,321

“…We would also like a cookie…”

We are a nation of smartasses. There is hope for the republic.

And signing a petition doesn’t do shit. Also, too.

White House – petitions: definitely worth signing

30 Friday Sep 2011

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Petitions, We the people, White House

Previously:

White House: petitions – We the People (September 22, 2011)

White House – petitions: removing “Under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance (September 24, 2011)

White House – petitions: almost something for everyone (September 28, 2011)

The White House started an online petition process on September 22nd, with an initial staff review threshold of five thousand signatures for petitions submitted through the process.

There certainly are a number of petitions worth signing, like this one:

Restore democracy by ending corporate personhood.

Citizens United dramatically altered the political dynamic of our country. Never before have corporations had so much sway over our country’s politics, and as a result our nation looks less and less like a democracy every day. By calling corporations “people” and deeming money to be “free speech,” we are allowing the richest Americans to influence politics in a way that the vast majority of us can never dream of. By ending corporate personhood we can restore our country’s democratic vision and create an America that answers to people rather than to money.

Stop the top 1% of Americans from drowning out the voices of the 99%. End corporate personhood and stop giving an unfair advantage to the wealthy few before it’s too late.

Created: Sep 22, 2011

Issues: Government Reform

Total signatures on this petition

10,846

And, of course, there are seemingly disparate petitions that, given another look, would appear to make a great deal of sense if they were paired:

Allow BASE Jumping in National Parks

We the people believe that BASE Jumping is not an illegal activity when participated in on public property. It should be treated as other sports are when they are active in designated areas. BASE Jumping has been banned by the NPS, and that should be addressed. The United States of America should be a place of personal liberty and freedom that allows BASE Jumpers to pursue their passions like all other citizens.

Created: Sep 23, 2011

Issues: Civil Rights and Liberties, Government Reform, Natural Resources

Total signatures on this petition

1,389

Promote / Enforce the teaching of Evolution over Creationism

Evolution has been unquestionably supported by scientific evidence, and is universally accepted in the scientific community, While it may run contrary to personally held religious beliefs, it is not the purpose of our publicly funded education system to teach religious dogma as fact, or even controversy, in a biology class.

It makes as much sense to teach creationism in a science class as it would to teach that the sun rotates around the earth in an astronomy class, or that lightning and storms are created by the the gods in a weather science lecture.

Evolutionary theory is the basis for much of modern biology, and to accept creationism is to reject modern knowledge of geology, carbon dating, genetics, and history. Depriving or confusing students about Evolution is unacceptable.

Created: Sep 24, 2011

Issues: Education, Innovation, Science and Space Policy

Total signatures on this petition

3,486

There’s probably a less dramatic way to demonstrate natural selection to school children.

White House – petitions: almost something for everyone

28 Wednesday Sep 2011

Posted by Michael Bersin in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Petitions, We the people, White House

Previously:

White House: petitions – We the People (September 22, 2011)

White House – petitions: removing “Under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance (September 24, 2011)

The White House started an online petition process on September 22nd, with an initial staff review threshold of five thousand signatures for petitions submitted through the process. Several petitions have quickly reached that threshold.

The current leaders in signatures:

Legalize and Regulate Marijuana in a Manner Similar to Alcohol. 41,026  Signatures

Abolish the TSA, and use its monstrous budget to fund more sophisticated, less intrusive counter-terrorism intelligence. 22,855  Signatures

Call an Investigation into Allegations of Prosecutorial & Judicial Misconduct in the Case of Sholom Rubashkin 21,182  Signatures

Forgive Student Loan Debt to Stimulate the Economy and Usher in a New Era of Innovation, Entrepreneurship and Prosperity 19,906  Signatures

Edit the Pledge of Allegiance to remove the phrase “Under God”. 14,491  Signatures

Allow Industrial Hemp to be Grown in the U.S. Once Again 12,898  Signatures

There are a number of petitions concerning legalization of marijuana:

Allow United States Disabled Military Veterans access to medical marijuana to treat their PTSD. 502  Signatures

Give States the Freedom to Establish Their Own Marijuana Laws. 8,128  Signatures

Stop Interfering With State Marijuana Legalization Efforts 11,396  Signatures

Legalize, regulate, and tax marijuana. 12,391  Signatures

Legalize and Regulate Marijuana in a Manner Similar to Alcohol. 41,033  Signatures

There are other petitions on issues of concern to some which will or will not garner signatures, depending on one’s grasp of reality and/or medication schedule:

form a presidential commission to investigate the covert use of mind control technologies on American citizens. 214  Signatures

prohibit all federal agencies from promoting, endorsing, or funding fluoridation of the public drinking water. 1,273  Signatures

Immediately disclose the government’s knowledge of and communications with extraterrestrial beings 3,379  Signatures

formally acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race – Disclosure. 5,790  Signatures

Dr. Strangelove!:

“…It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works…”

As of this writing there are 89 petitions on the site. Is this a great country, or what?

 

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