Sunday, August 31, 2008

T.R. Hughs Ballpark, O’Fallon, MO

Press Release: Mansions for McCain Announces Our Support for Senator John McCain

“Cause No One Else Can Afford Us!”

United Mansions for McCain (UMM) is pleased to announce our support for the only candidate who truly understands large, expansive housing units, the Honorable Senator John McCain.  At a time where ordinary working Americans keep whining about the economy, John McCain stands alone as a maverick with an unending commitment to buy more mansions, no matter what the price.  In fact, one might be tempted to think that John McCain’s continued purchasing of expensive properties has been the only thing keeping the housing market from complete collapse.

Over the years, John McCain has been a tireless servant for his mansions.  Or rather, he has paid tireless servants to take care of his mansions.  In fact, McCain spends almost $300,000 a year paying servants to take care of his 13 million dollars worth of mansions, because he understands that some things are more important than money.  Things like sprawling beachfront properties overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

“Some people have said that mansions should be offended that John McCain doesn’t even know how many properties he owns,” said Mansion #4, a 4.7 million dollar condo in Downtown Phoenix, “but they have to understand the larger context.  John McCain doesn’t need to know how many mansions he owns, because he knows it’s always a good time to buy another one!”

We would also like to take this momentous opportunity to applaud Senator McCain and his economic advisors for their brave comments that the current recession is “mental.”  America, its time to stop with the whining, and get out there and buy a mansion!  With courageous statements like this, we are confident that whenever people hear John McCain talk about they economy, the only thing to say is “UMM.”


Mansion # 1, Arlington VA $850,000

Mansion # 2  Phoenix, $700,000

Mansion #3   Phoenix $700,000

Mansion #4 Phoenix, $4,700,000

Mansion #5 Page Springs, AZ   “The Ranch”

Mansion #6  La Jolla, CA  > $1,000,000

Mansion #7  La Jolla, CA $2,700,000 &

Mansion # 8 La Jolla, CA  $2,100,000