10. Breathing becomes difficult as oxygen is rapidly replaced with soot.

9.  The Boeing plant begins to glow an eerie green.

8.  The Rams score 666 points in a single football game, only lose by 3 points.

7.  The Muddy Mississippi becomes the Bloody Mississippi.

6.  Imo’s pizza starts tasting good to people who aren’t from St. Louis.

5.  The rotted corpse of Jim Talent is spotted wandering the streets in search of human brains.

4.  Local college Republicans grow three times in size… use their awesome new powers to convince other people to join the army.

3.  Mayor Slay remembers that he’s a Democrat.

2.  Racial tensions are temporarily alleviated as everyone agrees to cower in Holy Terror together.

1.  And finally, I guess, you see this in the post dispatch.

Did I miss anything?