Listen:

I like seeing Janet Folger (Faith2Action founder) tremble in impotent rage as much as the next guy does, but it’s especially rewarding to see her dreams of relevance shattered with such a thundering whimper.

The spankable Janet was one of the totally bent bints at the “Values Voters” debate. This is where complete nutjobs ask loaded questions to Republicans, who pander to such wackiness as a matter of course for some reason.

Janet is moaning in despair–not unlike an ugly girl left at home on prom night, I might add–because the MSM (that’s conservative for the “mainstream media”) refuses do get on its knees to please the Jesus freaks. This is fine by me, but Janet has a hard time accepting her consignment to utter irrelevancy.

This is the thrust of her argument:

The news networks CNN, FOX and MSNBC, who ignored America’s views and refused to cover the Values Voter Presidential Debate, broadcast every word of Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s Columbia University speech unedited on Monday, just one week later.

Ignored America’s views? Sweetie, you wouldn’t know America’s views if they mugged you while you were having a back-alley abortion behind a Wal-Mart. Something you have to remember is that while Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the leader of a country which looks like its going to get bombed by either us or our allies, you are a dim and irritating nut who couldn’t even attract all of the conservative candidates to your Tupperware party. I’m surprised. I would have thought that you would have praised him for his stance on homosexuals, you misguided harpy.

And man, is Mike Huckabee a shameless panderer or what? “The language of Zion is my native tongue…”? What’s that about? Learn to speak American, motherfucker, or get out. (Haha.)

Speaking of back-alley abortions behind the Wal-Mart, perhaps this is why major news outlets decided that a social conservative circle-jerk was not high on their agenda:

Teresa Ippoliti, abortion survivor — RUDY GIULIANI

My name is Teresa Ippoliti. Eighteen years ago, an abortionist was hired to kill me, but I survived. I was wrapped in newspaper and tossed on a shelf struggling for my life. Nuns came and rescued me, took me to a hospital where I stayed for two months. I was then adopted by my heroic mom and dad. Mayor Giuliani, your position on abortion would have left me dead. Now that you see me, Mr. Giuliani, do you honesty still believe an abortionist had a right to kill me?

Don’t fuck with nuns.

Personally, I think mothers should have the right to abort up until the 75th trimester, but I’ll try to be circumspect in my comments about this poor woman. Why was the abortion botched? In South Korea (yeah, South Korea), where the abortion took place, abortion is only legal “to save a woman’s life or protect her physical health.” Assuming your mother was a well woman having a healthy but unwanted pregnancy terminated, well, that means that she was having an illegal abortion. You, my unfortunate friend, are the product of restrictive abortion laws. Giuliani’s position on abortion would have had exactly no effect on you.

I’m not one to play nice with people who use others as emotional punching bags. (I’m not sure that sentence means anything.) “Bing,” I ask myself, “is it really such a good idea to attack a woman who survived an abortion?” It’s not my first inclination to do it, but I think that there is a legitimate point to be made here. Your mother, if the summary of the video you appeared in is accurate, had a late-term abortion of a potentially viable pregnancy. I think that it is disingenuous to say 18-year old Teresa Ippoliti is the moral equivalent of the potentially viable fetal Korean you once were. You are comparing apples and parasites.

As an aside, I want to recommend that you change your sign if you are going to be a-protesting at abortion clinics from now on:

Doesn’t it sound a little like the mother was aborted? Fetuses having fetuses. It’s disgusting.

Maybe I’m callous (well, actually I am) but, unlike Janet Folger and Phyllis Schlafly, I think that Teresa can aspire to be something more than a botched abortion and the centerpiece of a religious freak show.

HJ

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