Mothers of River City,

heed this warning before it’s too late

Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption

The minute your son leaves the house

does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?

(….)

Well if so, my friends…

Ya got trouble

Oh, we got trouble

Right here in River City Missouri.

Senator Jane Cunningham, R-Chesterfield, could tell Professor Harold Hill what the pool tables of 2009 are. A couple of years ago when she was still a state rep, Cunningham spoke at “Educational Policy Conference 18,” an annual event sponsored by The Constitutional Coalition. That may sound like dry stuff, but only till you get a load of the speech titles, like: “Totalitarianism in Drag: The Connection Between Globalism, Phony Academics, Covert Data Collection & Mental Health Screening”. Cunningham spoke on the topic of “the homosexual agenda in our public schools” and introduced her good friend, Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern, who achieved brief national notoriety when Ellen DeGeneres played a tape of Kern saying things like:

You know why they’re trying to get early childhood education? They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them. …. And they’re going after our young children, as young as two years of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle.”

Ooh. Earth to Sally Kern.

Well, that’s my reaction, but Kern is not alone in her paranoia about what the government wants to do to our kids. Congressman Pete Hoekstra, R-Michigan, is sponsoring a constitutional amendment to prevent the U.S. from signing a U.N. treaty about children’s rights. (Only we and Somalia have refused.) Hoekstra’s take is something to the effect that no godless diplomat’s going to tell him he can’t paddle his own children!

Jon Stewart has one of his priceless commentaries.

Anyway, Hoekstra’s gathered the Congressional wingnuts around him. His list of co-sponsors includes … no, see if you can guess which Missouri representative would go for that nonsense.

And back at the state level, we have Representative Cynthia Davis, R-O’Fallon, sponsoring HB 13161:

This bill declares that parents of an unemancipated child younger than 18 years of age have the right to make all decisions regarding their child’s health care and education; however, parents will not be given the authority to require their child to have an abortion.

A parent or guardian who home schools or sends his or her child to a private school will be allowed reimbursement upon providing satisfactory evidence of the schooling costs up to the amount of the county property taxes he or she paid that would have been given to the school district.

I’ll bet she wishes she could sign on to co-sponsor Hoekstra’s constitutional amendment, she and Jane. But, short of that, she’d like me as a taxpayer to subsidize a private education so that her children won’t become queers.