Sunday night in Kansas City the LGBTQIA+ community in Kansas City, Missouri held a Townhall in a supportive establishment on Main Street. More than 150 people attended the over two-hour standing room only event.

Liz Davis, Liz Davis Therapy Group:
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….The second Trump administration is causing a lot of people to be overly worried, stressed, anxious, and have other mental health symptoms. I know, at least personally, with some clients. I have these orange pillows in my office and I’ve literally had multiple clients like, where we just like, get our anger out by punching the orange pillows. [laughter] It’s like, yeah, we’re punching this mother fucking orange face in, you know, [laughter] like. ‘Cause we’re like, we’ll fight it out, and then we’ll process it, then we’ll cry, then we’ll, you know, grieve, and, and we just get it out…

[….]

…The one thing I wanted to say is that also the holiday season is coming up. And dealing with family and possibly family members who voted differently than you did, or who voted for Trump may bring anxiety or a little bit of conflict into what should be a joyful time. And, um, despite that there are tools and ways that we can cope with that, that I just wanted to speak to.

And, like, one of the ways is just being clear and direct. And, for example, it’s saying things like ‘I’m not comfortable discussing my relationships, let’s focus on catching up on work or hobbies instead.’ You know, just like diverting to something more like general if people start bringing up things that you’re not comfortable talking about.

Secondly, is limiting your time. And that is something I’ve personally had to do with my family. Where if gatherings feel overwhelming you can plan like an exit strategy, um. Let them know you’ll only be able to stay for a couple of hours or just have a backup plan. I even tell my clients sometimes ‘go hide in the bathroom and take a breather.’ No one’s gonna question how long you’re in the bathroom, ’cause, you never know what you’re doing in there. So, like if you need to do some decompression and some deep breathing and some, you know, mindfulness, go hide in the bathroom and like just take a break.

Um, next is prepare to, prepare responses for tough topics. So, like, having go to phrases like, ‘I don’t want to get into politics right now, let’s just acknowledge that we disagree and just try to enjoy the today.’ And just being that diffusing presence, right, like if someone’s gonna come to you with conflict just why spend the holidays that way? That’s exhausting, like, we may as well just like divert it back to ‘Can we just remember what this is supposed to actually be about?’

[….]

… Next, is create a self-care plan, which I’m a huge fan of. Um, build in time for yourself before and after family events for self-care and recharge with activities that ground you. So, I’m a big fan of like making sure you are going into family holiday events, where it may be conflictual or difficult, in the most grounded head space that you can. And also having a plan for when you get home to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself in ways that serve you. And that’s different for everyone, so I can’t get to specifics. But whatever brings you peace, comfort, and joy I recommend having a plan for that.

And lastly, it’s being able to say ‘No’ without guilt. If you have to skip a gathering, um, that’s honestly okay. You can politely decline by saying like, ‘I won’t be able to make it this year, but I hope you all have a wonderful time.’ Like, ‘Love you, I just can’t be there.’

[….]

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad family member, it just makes you someone who values your own mental health and wellbeing. And like, sometimes we all have to do that. And I, I can speak from personal experience that it was hard for my family at first, but they got fucking used to it. [laughter]

So, those are my little tips and tricks for the holidays….

Previously:

LGBTQIA+ Townhall Meeting – Kansas City, Missouri – December 8, 2024 (December 9, 2024)

Justice Horn – LGBTQIA+ Townhall Meeting – Kansas City, Missouri – December 8, 2024 (December 10, 2024)