You know how every year you hear somebody say that such-and-such a color is the new black? Well it seems that Minnesota’s Michele Bachmann is such an icon of rightwing goofiness that now that she has announced her intention to retire at the end of her current term, commentators are searching for the new Michele Bachmann. And guess who the first contender to be named is? Missouri’s own Rep. Vicky Hartzler (R-4), author of Running God’s Way, a guide for rightwing Christians in politics, famous locally as the Tea Party darling and mostly closeted birther who is also the recipient of massive governmental farm subsidies.

Makes sense. the Tea Party queen stands down while one of the possible number one ladies in waiting takes the crown. Charles Pierce, who is leading the hunt for Bachmann’s successor, notes that among the  points in Hartzler’s favor is her intellectual acuity:

Among other things, Ms. Hartzler apparently believes that the heathen Chinee are spying on us through our toasters.

and her courageous stand for religious freedom for the right kind of Christians:

She’d also rather the government not tolerate those “fringe religions” because the First Amendment says that Congress Shall Make No Law Unless Vicky Hartzler Thinks Your God Is Freaky.

I’d say Vicky has a good chance of becoming the new Michele Bachmann, but I want to know if her election would mean that Missouri will become known as the Bermuda Triangle of Crazy? Do you feel proud that we’re first-off in the running for the crazy crown, or what?

ADDENDA: This is one account of the record of achievement that Hartzler has to equal or surpass in order to become the new Bachmann.

*Slightly edited.