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If you take a listen at the video of “Women for Akin” rally (h/t the Turner Report), the most notable thing you’ll hear is that lots of women really were making their voicees heard – only the ones speaking up weren’t actually rallying for Akin. If you can’t manage to make it out, about 40 protesters are regaling the 100 or so attendees with the chant, “rape is rape”:

Otherwise, what you’ll hear if you take the time to listen to Akin’s remarks is his standard, rightwing Christian take on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. For example, he unhesitatingly declared that if “you take a look at the Declaration of Independence, it is built on the brilliant idea that God intended you to have life, liberty and to pursuit happiness.” I’m sure that this would have come as a surprise to it’s author, the deist Thomas Jefferson, as well as to the other signatories, many of whom were not bible-believing Christians despite what Todd Akin and his revisionist Christian Nationalist pals would like us to believe. Of course, when you consider that when Akin talks about life, his biggest concern is abortion – he doesn’t approve – and, similarly, when he talks about liberty, he seems mainly concerned about taxes and government regulations – you know, the things that keep your food safe, and keep the banks from robbing us blind –  you begin to realize that it isn’t only history that he finds confusing.

Were his audience inclined to actually think about what he had to say, though, they might have been puzzled by the images he used to express his sense of American exceptionalism:

Let me just ask you a question. Do you like America? Let’s take a look about America and kinda see what it is we like about it. You remember we won two World Wars. We didn’t annex any territory, we didn’t crown any king or emperors, but what we did do is vote to tax ourselves to rebuild our enemies. How often has that happened in World history? We have the oldest written constitution, and the world over is blessed with the innovations and technology that have come from America and if you really think about, if you think about the times there’s a tsunami or earthquake or something like that and what do you remember? A gray hole with the Red, White and Blue behind it full of medical supplies and food to help people all over the world. And you know what? That’s who we are. That’s what America is – we give back; we help other people. …

This could almost be a bleeding heart liberal extolling Americans who taxed themselves to rebuild Europe and Japan, deliver disaster relief, and just generally help people. But this generous soul is also the same fool who says he would have refused to vote for the Farm Bill that would deliver disaster relief to American farmers devastated by this summer’s drought. The reason why? It also offers food aid to poor and working families who have been flattened by jobs lost during the Bush recession.

The contradictions are almost too painful: The women rallying for Akin were only concerned about doing away with reproductive choice for other women. At the same time the Todd Akin who stood on the Missouri Capitol steps and extolled the governmental decisions that resulted in the Marshall plan is the same fool who thinks that the only safety net Americans need is what they can beg from religious and private charities. It would be laughable if it weren’t so sad.

P.S. Akin’s also wrong about what country has the oldest written constitution. This guy can’t even get the easy stuff right.